Opinions of a Wolf

Summary:
A group of five 20-somethings head for a long weekend in a cabin in the woods.  In the basement, they find an old tape recorded by the previous resident–a professor.  This professor reads passages from The Book of the Dead that he’s been studying.  Playing the tape accidentally raises demons, and the group are left fighting against possession and for survival throughout the night.

Review:
This low-budget B movie is the quintessential cabin in the woods horror movie.  Written and directed by Sam Raimi who went on to direct the Spider-man movies and more recently Drag Me To Hell, it pits these 20-somethings against an evil force that infects them as opposed to a serial killer.

You guys, I absolutely loved this movie.  I already have a weakness for low-budget horror movies, as I love a good chuckle with my jumps, but there is so much more awesome to this movie than the summaries out there tell you.  They tell you this is a zombie movie.  Zombie movie is so not the right definition.  This is an evil trees movie.

In the first half an hour, there is motherfucking tree porn.  What’s tree porn, you ask?  It’s tentacle porn, only with tree branches.  The girl who gets raped by the tree is now infected, and the infection gets spread via wood.  The infection makes them mindless attacking machines, but they do not eat flesh.  They just chant “JOIN US!”  Even more awesome is the fact that when their limbs etc… get cut off not only blood but tree semen comes out of them.

Adding to the awesomeness that is the tree venereal disease is the stop-motion special effects.  They give such a different vibe than cgi and are truly well-done.

There are also your typical B-movie, chuckle-worthy lines.  Plus if there’s nothing too horrifying going on on the screen, you can always watch Bruce Campbell’s chin.  I dubbed him “Cro-Magnon Man.”  His face is just that awesome.  Plus he has a faint unibrow.

If you want a creative twist on a typical horror set-up, definitely check out The Evil Dead.  I mean, you’ve at last gotta watch the first half hour for the tree porn.

5 out of 5 stars

Source: Netflix

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