Archive
Movie Review: Black Dynamite (2009)
Summary:
When Black Dynamite’s brother turns up dead, he comes out of ass kicking retirement to clean up the city streets. There’s more going on than originally met his eye, though. It’s a damn good thing the CIA reissued him his license to kill.
Review:
There’s not much that I love more in my movies than ones that are knowingly making fun of themselves. Black Dynamite is simultaneously a satire of 1970s blaxploitation films and a mockery of itself. The dialogue, characters, outfits, and story are so bad that they’re good, and it’s that bad on purpose. That makes it awesome in my book.
The acting is excellent. You believe in the characters in spite of the ridiculous situations and conversations they’re having. The soundtrack is amazing. It sounds just like 1970s music, only it has specially written lyrics that go along with the story. The storyline is so outlandish that it lands in the awesome zone. If you enjoyed Bill Murray’s appearance in Zombieland, you’re going to like Black Dynamite‘s storyline.
Black Dynamite is hilarious and unique. If you enjoy kitschy, crazy plot, dialogue, and characters, you’ll like it as much as I do.
5 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Movie Review: Fargo (1996)
Summary:
A car dealer is in deep debt, and his wealthy father-in-law refuses to help him out. Since his father-in-law’s one caveat regarding money is that he will never leave his daughter or grandson in trouble, the car dealer decides to get some men to kidnap his wife, and they will then split the ransom. The plan, naturally, goes horribly awry.
Review:
I think this may be one of the more stupid critically acclaimed movies I’ve ever seen.
Let’s start with the plot. Why is this man in massive debt? Neither myself nor the person I was watching the movie with could quite figure that out. It’s key to me as far as relating to the character to know how exactly he got into this debt to start with. Similarly, why doesn’t the father-in-law consider getting his son-in-law out of debt taking care of the family? It appears that the car dealer is in trouble, and you would think that the father-in-law would want to keep the man his daughter loves safe if for no other reason than to protect her heart. Then there’s the fact that this is quite possibly the most predictable plot I’ve ever seen. One of the kidnappers is crazy? Who’da thunk it?! *rolls eyes*
Moving on to the acting, it was terrible. I’ve seen more facial expression and body language from stone statues than I saw on William H. Macy, who plays the car dealer. The only way I can possibly comprehend Frances McDormand winning an Oscar for her performance is if she naturally has a bubbly, interesting personality, because it can’t be that challenging to play a character as boring as the pregnant police chief. Then there’s the universally horrible midwest accents. I’m friends with a woman who was born and raised in Michigan, and she does not sound like that. She has a slight lilt to her o’s and a’s that is actually cute and attractive, not horribly mangled words such as what these actors purport midwesterners sound like.
It wasn’t until I looked up Fargo to find a movie poster that I discovered it’s supposed to be a “dark comedy.” Oh, I laughed at parts of it alright, but not due to any comedic value. You just have to laugh at a movie that’s this bad.
I don’t recommend anyone to see this movie, but it’s not excruciatingly painful to watch if you find yourself stuck in a room with it, which is the only thing saving it from a one star rating.
2 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Book Review: The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton
Summary:
The US government is searching for new biological weapons by sending satellites into the edges of the atmosphere to collect bacteria strains that may exist there but not on earth. Due to concerns of contamination on reentry, an emergency team called Wildfire is created as a contingency plan. When a satellite crashes in the Arizona desert, grotesquely killing all but two residents of a small town, the team of scientists is put to the test in a race to protect humanity.
Review:
An up-front confession: Michael Crichton is one of my favorite authors. I love how realistic his science is, and he writes suspense quite well. I was therefore excited to read his first book. Unfortunately, Andromeda Strain did not live up to these expectations.
The suspense is killed right off the bat with the narration style. The story is told as if it is a report being written up by someone after the event. This means that we not only know that some of humanity survives this impending doom, but that society is still held together enough to want a report. If I’m sure that everything is going to turn out hunky dory in the end, I’m just not going to be all that concerned throughout the book. Similarly, the characters aren’t fleshed out as well as in later books. They are basically their careers. Here’s the bacteriologist. Here’s the professor. here’s the surgeon. They don’t come across as real, rounded people, so I completely failed to care about them at all. This isn’t good for suspense, because if I don’t care about the characters, I’m not going to worry about them too much.
Crichton’s ability to set a scene shines through well in this book, however. Wildfire’s underground station is vividly imagined, as is the scene at the small town in Arizona. It was simultaneously gruesome and exciting. Similarly, his ability to weave real science into a fake scenario is carried off flawlessly here. The glimmers of the writing that would later appear in Jurassic Park and Prey is clear.
Speaking of the science, Andromeda Strain doesn’t age well. An entire page is devoted to explaining binary like it’s this huge complicated thing, which it isn’t to anyone who grew up with computers. Indeed, a lot of the book is devoted to explaining the huge computer in Wildfire’s base. Unlike biological science, in which the basics stay the same, technology changes rapidly. I don’t think it’s a wise choice to focus on in a scientific thriller, unless you are projecting plausible possibilities in technology in the future. Or super awesome possible technology the government may already have. Crichton does this really well in Prey, which is all about nanotechnology. Science horror needs to take me into a world that is a bit more awesome than my own, not lamer. Thankfully, Crichton figured this out in his later books.
If you’re a Michael Crichton fan, The Andromeda Strain is worth the read to see where he started. If you’re new to him though, I’d recommend starting with some of his later books such as Jurassic Park or Prey.
2.5 out of 5 stars
Source: Bought at Violet’s Book Exchange
Movie Review: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Summary:
Elizabeth wakes up one morning to discover her boyfriend, Jeffrey, being distant and acting odd. She nearly immediately intuitively senses that this man is not Jeffrey. The only people to believe her are her boss, Matt, and an author and his wife. Together the four of them struggle against the nearly invisible alien invasion of a type of plant that morphs human bodies in with their own personalities, thereby replacing the humans.
Review:
This is a remake of the 1956 movie of the same name. I was told you don’t need to watch the 1956 version first, but now I’m not so sure. A lot of the story just didn’t make any sense, and I’m wondering if those are plot points that were better addressed in the 1956 version. For instance, what makes someone at risk to become an alien hybrid? We know that the aliens came into Elizabeth’s household on a flower, yet her boyfriend morphs overnight whereas she does not. Why? Similarly, a process is started by the aliens and at some point it becomes dangerous for that person to sleep, for when they sleep, the metamorphosis completes. Why isn’t everyone transforming in their sleep? At what point is it dangerous to sleep? Why does sleep complete the metamorphosis? For that matter, why do the aliens duplicate the humans’ dna in a pod? Why don’t they just invade the body and combine dna that way? Why does the person’s body disappear when the pod is complete? Why have they come to earth? And for the love of god, why do they make that horrible screeching noise? I’m pretty sure plants don’t generally make noise. Obviously, this movie left me with a lot of questions and not many answers, and that’s something I don’t tolerate well from my scifi movies. If you’re going to do scifi, do it well. Build a world that is not our own but still makes sense! It ruins the experience for me if I’m continually yanked out of that world by my brain going, “Wait…..what?!”
On the other hand, the special effects are really good for the 1970s. The opening with the alien life wafting around space is impressive and reminded me of cgi. The pods are simultaneously realistic-looking and grotesque. Whatever noise they recorded for the aliens screeching is truly spine-chilling.
Two items of note. The first is that you get to see Jeff Goldblum of Jurassic Park in another brainy, geek role, which is fun. Also, there’s some brief nudity, which is always fun in a movie when it’s not in the context of awkward, obviously not really happening sex.
If you like scifi you won’t regret watching this movie. Just be sure to have something to do while you watch it–like knitting, or a game of Clue–to keep your mind off of the glaring plot holes and unanswered questions.
2 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Movie Review: Phantasm (1979)
Summary:
After Mike’s parents and a family friend die, he starts to suspect something sinister is going on at the Morningside funeral home. After seeing cloaked dwarves and a flying sphere of death, he manages to convince his brother Jody that not all is right. The two set out to defeat The Tall Man before any more townspeople die.
Review:
It’s rare for a movie to be simultaneously funny and scary, but Phantasm pulls it off well. The Tall Man is incredibly spooky. His mere appearance makes you jump. Yet the dialogue provides comic relief. An example is early in the movie, Mike thinks he’s heard something sinister in the woods. Jody respond, “Ah, it was probably just a gopher in heat.”
The spooky elements are actually creative. Very few horror tropes are utilized. Some of the scenes reminded me of The Shining, with the eerie, waiting, quiet. The audience and the character knows something is afoot, yet there is nothing right then that is actually wrong. It gives delicious chills down the spine.
What really tips this over into awesomeland, is the character Reggie–an ice cream truck driver. For almost the entire movie, he wears his ice cream man uniform complete with a giant black bow tie, yet he manages to be badass. He jams on the guitar with the teenagers and fights a good fight. He’s such a creative character, going beyond the immediate perception of an ice cream man. I wish there were more characters like him in horror movies.
If you enjoy old-school horror with a touch of comedy, or just want to see some creative scares, I recommend Phantasm.
4 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Movie Review: World’s Greatest Dad (2009)
Summary:
Lance knows he’s a good writer with a voice that deserves to be heard, but somehow it gets lost in the shuffle of his everyday life as a divorced high school English teacher and dad to his teenage son. His son is a jerk and a bit of a pervert, but Lance’s love for him helps him get through the day. When he comes home to find his son dead from erotic asphyxiation, his world is turned upside down.
Review:
This movie is a wonderful study of multiple, well-rounded, three-dimensional characters. From Lance to his hoarding neighbor to his art teacher, shallow, childish, love interest and everyone in-between, this movie is chock full of characters who are believable as real people. You want to study them more in-depth. You want to know what makes them tick.
Lance is such a likeable guy. He’s sweet, loves old horror movies, strives to write the best he can. All he wants out of life is to be recognized, not just on the level of his writing, but in his life over-all. He desperately wants to be noticed and loved. Parents will appreciate that whatever it is that makes Lance’s son such a jerk, it is never portrayed as Lance’s fault.
Beyond the wonderful characters, the movie makes a great commentary on what makes a book publishable. It points out the hypocrisy of popularity surrounding a controversy and the general sheep-like quality of the masses. This combined with the character studies makes it well worth the watch.
I recommend it to those who enjoy character-driven movies with a wry sense of humor.
4 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Book Review: Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford
Summary:
In the early days of Hollywood, Joan Crawford became one of the first celebrities to adopt children. From the outside, it looked like her children had it all–presents, inherent fame, an apparently adoring mother. However, in Christina’s tell-all memoir, she reveals the truth behind the image. A mother obsessed with cleanliness and rigid rules. A mother who demanded her children worship her like her fans did in order to receive her love. A mother so desperate to cling to her days of fame that she attempted to beat down any glimmer of success in her children. A mother who Christina still desperately loved to the bitter end.
Review:
This memoir is a must read for anyone who thinks that having money and being a celebrity automatically makes for a good parent. Joan Crawford expected her four adopted children to be exactly what she wanted them to be instead of loving them for their uniqueness and human imperfections. Christina’s situation gradually worsens as she becomes older and starts to show glimmers of being her own person. The scenes of abuse in Christina’s childhood are the best written in the book. It is clear that she remembers them vividly and can still identify with the emotions that went through her as a child and young teenager.
*spoiler warning*
That said, Christina never manages to disentangle herself from her mother. In spite of everything her mother has done, Christina still attempts anything and everything to reconcile with her, apparently ignoring or forgetting the fact that she never did anything wrong to cause her mother’s behavior in the first place. Joan Crawford is a cruel, spiteful, evil person, and Christina naively continues to seek her love even in her 30s. This makes it more sad than most memoirs about abuse as it seems that Christina never truly overcame her abuser.
*end spoiler*
The writing, beyond the scenes of abuse, is sub-par. Christina has a tendency to ramble a bit in an uninteresting way. She also seems to not understand which parts of her life to skim over a bit. I mean, did we really need to know exactly when in a funeral her husband hands her a paper cup of water? No. Additionally, she obviously had a bad editor, as there are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes, which is odd for a mass market paperback.
Overall, it’s worth a read if you’re into memoirs or the inside Hollywood scoop. All others should probably give it a pass though.
3 out of 5 stars
Source: Swaptree
Movie Review: The King of Kong (2007)
Summary:
The world of competitive gaming (and by world, we mostly mean the US) has been a tight-knit bunch of people since the 1980s. Everyone acknowledges the awesomeness that is the head referee and current high-score in Donkey Kong and perfect score in PacMan holder Billy Mitchell. All that changes when a determined rival shows up in the form of Steve Wiebe, a middle school science teacher. Is Steve actually better than Billy? Is the competitive gaming institute corrupt? Is Billy as good as he says he is? Should videotaped gaming sessions count? All these questions and more are addressed in this documentary.
Review:
This is hands-down the most amusing and engrossing documentary I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve actually played Donkey Kong, so I sort of understand what’s going on when the guys play. Maybe it’s that I’ve known uber-nerds like this my whole life. You know the type–awkward, greasy, yet positive of his own awesomeness. I think it’s mostly that it’s a portrayal of a group of people united by what they love to do as opposed to who or what they are that makes this such a watchable documentary though.
Still, though, the documentary could have gone horribly awry if it weren’t for the skill of the filmmakers. They manage to tell the story in a way that lets us laugh at them, but not in a cruel way. They let us see that these guys know they’re a bit odd to more mainstream Americans, but they don’t care. That makes it totally cool for us to be amused at how seriously they take it all.
However, the documentary does more than show us a subculture and let us be amused. You can see your own group reflected in this one. We all have the devious person, the person who just wants power, the person who just wants recognition, the henchman, etc… It’s fun to see these realistic group dynamics on screen surrounding an issue as non-controversial as Donkey Kong.
I highly recommend The King of Kong to anyone who loves documentaries, mockumentaries like Modern Family, or videogames.
5 out of 5 stars
Source: Netflix
Movie Review: District 9 (2009) South Africa
Summary:
In this alternate history, 20 years ago an alien spaceship came to a stop over South Africa. It appears that they broke down over Earth. They appeared sickly and malnourished, so the South African government set up a shanty town for them just outside of Johannesburg. Now tensions are increasing between the South Africans and the aliens who they call Prawns. The government hires a corporation called Multi-National United to come in and forcibly move them 25 kilometers from Johannesburg. The leader of the project soon discovers the Prawns aren’t exactly what the media has laid them out to be……and neither is Multi-National United.
Review:
I knew as I was watching it that I was going to really like this mockumentary. Having an alien landing that is neither hostile nor a diplomatic mission from a more advanced species is really creative, as is having the humans hem and haw over what exactly to do with the aliens. The aliens wind up in no-man’s land, stuck due to red tape and a general lack of consensus.
I also enjoyed that the movie doesn’t establish certain groups as all evil or all good. There are individuals within the South Africans, the Prawns, and the MNU who are good or evil, just as it actually is in real life. The main characters are complex, trying to do their best when facing tough decisions.
Now, as for the movie elements, the special effects are amazing. I kept forgetting that the Prawns were CGI and not actors. The Prawns’ weapons are exactly what you want out of a scifi film–based on real world weapons, but decidedly more awesome.
There were a few pieces of loose plot that bothered me. A non-spoiler example is the fact that the Prawns and the humans understand each other, and it’s not explained how that came about or how difficult it might be. It almost seems as if just anyone can understand the Prawns’ clicking. Another example is it’s never explained if there are female Prawns or if they are hermaphrodites or what.
A lot of people say that this is about race relations. I disagree. While it’s easy to draw out comparisons, I don’t think that’s the main issue in the film. I think District 9 is more about how groups of people affiliated by nationality interact, and how people do the best they can given the circumstances.
I highly recommend District 9 to scifi and non-scifi lovers alike.
4 out of 5 stars
Source: Redbox
Movie Review: Moon (2009)
Summary:
In the near future, a corporation has figured out how to harvest energy from the sun via a station on the the moon. Sam Bell accepted a 3 year post as the sole human being in the station. His only company is Gerty, a computer who is faceless save an emoticon that expresses the emotions behind his statements. It starts to look like three years may have been too long of a stint for Sam. Is he going crazy or is there something more sinister at work?
Review:
This movie largely consists of just one actor performing–Sam Rockwell, who plays Sam Bell. This is not an easy task to pull off while maintaining audience interest, and he does a wonderful job. Kevin Spacey, who voices Gerty, strikes just the right combination of mechanical and human sounding vocalizations. He does a splendid job being creepy.
The concept of a future where one corporation provides most of the energy used by the planet is a great scifi concept to base a film on. The technology and sociology necessary for this to occur are both believable enough that not too much effort is needed to suspend disbelief. On the other hand, the movie never really explains how exactly the energy is harvested. This struck me as a moderately important plot element to be missing.
The special effects were surprisingly good for a low budget film such as this. In fact, I kept forgetting that it wasn’t a big blockbuster release.
I can’t say too much more without ruining the movie for you. I will tell you that at first I thought it was just average, but then I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days after watching it. Particularly when I saw a bus with an emoticon on it that looked just like Gerty’s. I love it when a movie affects you in a sneak attack way, and I highly recommend Moon if you enjoy scifi or thought provoking films.
4 out of 5 stars
Source: Redbox
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