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A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

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A feature for the disappointing reads: I spent enough time reading them. The reviews shouldn’t waste more time. See all haiku reviews here.

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Rumour Has It
By:
Jill Mansell

Summary:
Newly single, Tilly Cole impulsively accepts a job offer in a small town as a “Girl Friday.” Fun job, country house, fresh start, why not? But soon she finds herself in a hotbed of gossip, intrigue, and rampant rivalry for the town’s most desirable bachelor-Jack Lucas.

Haiku Review:
What’s woman’s worst foe?
Other women. Defeat with
cancer. Stay at home.

3 out of 5 stars
Source: Library
Buy It

coverwelcomechaos

Welcome, Chaos
By: Kate Wilhelm

Summary:
When Lyle Taney took leave from her teaching job to live high in the mountains, researching the ways of eagles, she was just planning to write her next book. Lasater was an unscrupulous, skilled operative who thought he could maneuver her as he pleased. He believed women were incapable of making ethical or moral decisions. He was wrong.

Haiku Review:
So little chaos
for a book with it in the
title. One word? Meh.

3 out of 5 stars
Source: Audible
Buy It

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Exponential Apocalypse
By: Eirik Gumeny

Summary:
A tale of crappy jobs, a slacker cult, an alcoholic Aztec god, reconstituted world leaders, werewolves, robots, and the shenanigans of multiple persons living after the twentieth-aught end of the world.

Haiku Review:
Listening at three
times speed did not make it go
by any faster.

2 out of 5 stars
Source: Audible
Buy It

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

January 8, 2017 2 comments

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

A feature for the disappointing reads: I spent enough time reading them. The reviews shouldn’t waste more time. See all haiku reviews here.

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

Winter’s Bone
By: Daniel Woodrell

Summary:
The sheriff’s deputy at the front door brings hard news to Ree Dolly. Her father has skipped bail on charges that he ran a crystal meth lab, and the Dollys will lose their house if he doesn’t show up for his next court date. Ree knows she has to bring her father back, dead or alive.

Haiku Review:
How could a book with
Meth and gangs and a strong lead
Be very boring?

2 out of 5 stars
Source: Library
Buy It 

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

Little Lady Agency
By: Hester Browne

Summary:
Melissa Romney-Jones can bake a perfect sponge cake, type her little heart out, and plan a party blindfolded. But none of that has helped her get far in life or in love. When she gets fired — again — she decides to market her impeccable social skills to single men. To avoid embarrassing her father, a Member of Parliament, Melissa dons a blond wig and becomes “Honey,” a no-nonsense bombshell who helps clueless bachelors shop, entertain, and navigate social minefields.

Haiku Review:
Everything that makes
Browne’s other books good is just
Missing. Try again.

3 out of 5 stars
Source: Library
Buy It

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

Martian Time-Slip
By: Philip K. Dick

Summary:
On the arid colony of Mars the only thing more precious than water may be a ten-year-old schizophrenic boy named Manfred Steiner. For although the UN has slated “anomalous” children for deportation and destruction, other people–especially Supreme Goodmember Arnie Kott of the Water Worker’s union–suspect that Manfred’s disorder  may be a window into the future.

Haiku Review:
Using the n-word
For Martians. Fear of mental
Illness. Doesn’t age well.

2 out of 5 stars
Source: Audible
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A Second Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

October 13, 2016 5 comments

A Second Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

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On the Beach
By: Nevil Shute

Summary:
After a nuclear World War III has destroyed most of the globe, the few remaining survivors in southern Australia await the radioactive cloud that is heading their way and bringing certain death to everyone in its path.

Haiku Review:

Surely someone in
The last surviving nation
Would have kinky sex?

3 out of 5 stars
Source: Paperbackswap
Buy It

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Finny
By: Justin Kramon

Summary:
Finny’s relationships with Earl and Judith open her up to dizzying possibilities of love and loss and propel her into a remarkable adventure spanning twenty years and two continents.

Haiku Review:

Attention ladies!
Selfish male artists are top!
Unlike all things femme.

2 out of 5 stars
Source: Paperbackswap
Buy It

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The List
By: Siobahn Vivian

Summary:
It happens every year. A list is posted, and one girl from each grade is chosen as the prettiest, and another is chosen as the ugliest. Nobody knows who makes the list. It almost doesn’t matter. The damage is done the minute it goes up.

Haiku Review:

Could’ve been a series,
Instead squished eight tales in one.
Outline with no depth.

3 out of 5 stars
Source: Library
Buy It

See Also: A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

August 15, 2016 3 comments

A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

The Maze Runner
By James Dashner

Summary:
When Thomas wakes up in the lift, the only thing he can remember is his name. He’s surrounded by strangers—boys whose memories are also gone. Outside the towering stone walls is a limitless, ever-changing maze. It’s the only way out—and no one’s ever made it through alive. Then a girl arrives. The first girl ever. And the message she delivers is terrifying.

Haiku Review:

Surprisingly dull
Who made the maze and monsters?
Oh, that. Is that it?

3 out of 5 stars
Source: PaperBackSwap
Buy It

house

House of Leaves
By: 
Mark Z. Danielewski

Summary:
A young family moves into a small home on Ash Tree Lane where they discover something is terribly wrong: their house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.

Haiku Review:

Someone impressed his
Lit prof but not me with his
Wasteful pretention.

2 out of 5 stars
Source: PaperBackSwap
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A Trio of Disappointing Reads Reviewed in Haiku

The Quality of Silence
By: 
Rosamund Lupton

Summary:
On 24th November Yasmin and her deaf daughter Ruby arrived in Alaska. Within hours they were driving alone across a frozen wilderness. They are looking for Ruby’s father. Travelling deeper into a silent land. They still cannot find him. And someone is watching them in the dark.

Haiku Review:

Don’t you fucking dare
Keep me up at night worried
Then grant no closure.

2 out of 5 stars
Source: Library
Buy It