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Stories That Heal: 5 Books for Mental Health Awareness Month
May is Mental Health Awareness Month—an annual observance founded by Mental Health America in 1949 to highlight the importance of mental wellbeing, educate the public, reduce stigma, and promote support for those affected by mental health conditions.
As someone who believes in the power of books to change lives, I thought this was the perfect time to share a mental health–focused reading list. Whether you frequently read books centered on mental health or are exploring this space for the first time, I hope you’ll find something here that resonates. This list includes a mix of fiction and nonfiction across genres—something for every reader.
The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating by Kiera Van Gelder
(Amazon, Bookshop.org)
memoir
In this candid memoir set largely in Boston, Kiera Van Gelder traces her journey through Borderline Personality Disorder—from self-harm and addiction to healing through Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Buddhism. It’s an honest, hopeful account of finding stability and meaning after years of chaos.
(Read full review)
The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R. Kiernan
(Amazon, Bookshop.org)
literary fantasy, LGBTQIA+
In this haunting literary mystery, India Morgan Phelps—Imp to her friends—tries to untangle what really happened the summer she met Eva Canning. Was Eva a mermaid? A werewolf? Or is Imp’s memory altered by her schizophrenia? Told in lyrical, first-person prose, The Drowning Girl explores mental illness, identity, and unreliable memory, with nuanced queer representation and a mystery that unfolds entirely from within.
(Read full review)
Hunger by Jackie Morse Kessler
(Amazon, not available on Bookshop.org)
fantasy, YA
In this early 2010s YA standout, Hunger blends biting fantasy with raw realism to explore anorexia through a supernatural lens. When teen Lisabeth Lewis is visited by Death and becomes Famine—one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—she’s forced to confront the eating disorder that controls her life. With Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style humor and emotional honesty, this novel offers a powerful, metaphor-rich take on the inner voice of anorexia and the path to healing.
(Read full review)
The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor’s Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder by Olga Trujillo, JD
(Amazon, Bookshop.org)
memoir
In this powerful memoir, Olga Trujillo—once a successful attorney in D.C.—recounts their journey through the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery process of Dissociative Identity Disorder. As long-repressed memories of childhood abuse begin to surface, Olga works to integrate their parts and reclaim their life. With compassion, clarity, and survivor-centered care, this memoir offers both insight and hope to anyone seeking to understand trauma, dissociation, or the long path to healing.
(Read full review)
(Note: At the time I wrote my original review, Trujillo had not yet come out as nonbinary, so older references use previous pronouns.)
Waiting for Daybreak by Amanda McNeil
(Amazon, Bookshop.org)
zombie horror
In my own novel, Waiting for Daybreak, a young woman with Borderline Personality Disorder unexpectedly finds sobriety from alcoholism and strength when a zombie outbreak turns Boston upside down. Frieda has spent years battling emotional chaos and isolation—but when a mysterious virus brings society to a halt, she discovers survival suits her better than daily life ever did. As she sets out to save her sick cat, her solitary routine shatters, and she’s forced to reengage with a world that no longer plays by the rules. A character-driven post-apocalypse, Waiting for Daybreak explores mental illness, addiction recovery, and the fragile resilience that can grow in even the bleakest moments.
(See what readers are saying)
I hope you’ve found something here that speaks to you. If you have a favorite book that explores mental health—fiction or nonfiction—I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
Book Review: Killing Me by Michelle Gagnon
A laugh out loud thriller about women out-smarting a serial killer.
Summary:
Amber Jamison cannot believe she’s about to become the latest victim of a serial killer-she’s savvy and street smart, so when she gets pushed into, of all things, a white windowless van, she’s more angry than afraid. Things get even weirder when she’s miraculously saved by a mysterious woman…who promptly disappears. Who was she? And why is she hunting serial killers?
Review:
When I saw this on NetGalley, I was intrigued by the Final Girls-esque vibe – the women who would be the killer’s victims turning on him. I was skeptical I would find it humorous because, honestly, my funny bone is a little particular. But I actually found myself chortling on page one.
If you’re the type of person with an internal dialogue of self-deprecating humor about bizarre situations you find yourself in, then you’ll probably enjoy the sense of humor in this book. Regardless, you’ll be able to tell quickly if it’s for you or not, because the humor comes so quickly in the book, and that style is what’s present throughout the rest.
This is primarily told in the first person from Amber’s perspective, and she’s dry, acerbic, self-deprecating, but also whip-smart. (There are a few third person chapters that let us see things Amber doesn’t know about.) Amber is simultaneously problematic (she’s a con artist) and easy to root for. She’s richly three-dimensional. The main secondary characters are also rich and well-imagined. It would have been so easy to see a caricature of a sex worker, seedy motel owner, an Evangelical roommate, etc… yet they all are allowed to be more than what they might seem to be at first.
The Las Vegas setting rang very true to me. It depicted both the tourist bits and the seedier local areas quite well. I especially loved the run-down yet beloved film noir stylized motel as compared to the one recently made over to appeal to Gen Z and Millennials. That had me chortling.
I also really appreciated that this is a book whose main character is a lesbian but the plot has absolutely nothing to do with her being a lesbian. You could have almost the exact same book with a heterosexual main character. It’s just Amber so happens to like women. I like having this type of representation. It doesn’t always have to be about the difficulties of coming out or a romance to feature queer people.
The mystery itself was decent. The plot was certainly unique compared to other thrillers I’ve read, and I did not guess the ending. There was one twist that annoyed me only because it was solely a twist because Amber held something back from the reader. But I was willing to forgive it because she sort of breaks the fourth wall and acknowledges that she did it…which was funny.
I hope there’s a sequel, because I think there’s a lot left to explore with Amber, and she has a very interesting set-up at the end of the book.
Overall, I really recommend this to thriller lovers looking for something different. The humor and the plot really deliver.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
4 out of 5 stars
Length: 336 pages – average but on the longer side
Source: NetGalley
Buy It (Amazon or Bookshop.org)
Book Review: A Restless Truth by Freya Marske (Series, #2)
A murder mystery on an ocean liner cruising from the US to the UK in the early 1900s being solved by two women – one of whom is a magician. Both of whom are into each other. Things get spicy…and dangerous.
Summary:
When Maud voyages from the US to the UK on RMS Lyric, she finds a dead body, a disrespectful parrot, and a beautiful stranger in Violet Debenham, who is everything—a magician, an actress, a scandal—Maud has been trained to fear and has learned to desire. Surrounded by the open sea and a ship full of loathsome, aristocratic suspects, they must solve a murder and untangle a conspiracy that began generations before them.
Review:
I’m not sure how I ended up with an advanced copy of the second book in The Last Binding series – when I hadn’t read the first. I’m assuming either I requested it, not realizing it was a second book or it was sent to me based on my reading history with the assumption it didn’t matter. The series aspect is less “the story happens in a row” and more “everyone featured is living in these alternate history version of the early 1900s plus magic.” Apparently the first book in the series features a m/m pairing (Amazon, Bookshop.org), whereas this one stars a f/f pair.
I didn’t struggle too much to figure out what’s going on. The author does refrain from explaining much for the first chapter or two. But that’s because the book starts essentially in media res – with the murder happening. After that has occurred we slow down for a minute, and there’s a refresher of the rules of the universe. It didn’t take me too long to catch up and get into it.
One thing that did surprise me was the spice level of this romance. I was expecting very light spice with most encounters occurring off-screen after a fade to dark. That is not the case. Things get very explicit. Let’s put it this way….at least one of the scenes would have had to have been cut to manage to squeak in an R rating for explicitness. There are three scenes total, and each takes up a whole chapter. To me, this much spice feels like erotica jammed into a romance. I prefer the two separately.
The pairing here is grumpy/cheery. Violet is the grumpy, and I adored her. I liked Maud too, but Violet was someone I could see a whole book’s perspective on. Perhaps I’m biased since Violet is bisexual and the quintessential theater geek. I just really enjoyed her. But Maud is nice enough too. I liked their pairing well enough.
The mystery is substantial enough to hold up a plot. I enjoyed the animals and sneaking around the boat. I did think a bit more attention could have been paid to the class and race issues that sort of came up and got a bit glossed over. I don’t expect preaching in a book but it might have been interesting to at least have Maud and Violet see the second or third class areas of the ship on one of their many attempts to outrun their pursuers. (Somehow they always seemed to end up in the cargo hold instead). Maud talks with disdain of her parents only giving charity when others can see it, but Maud herself doesn’t seem to do much giving either. Violet, at least, offers to become the patron of an all-Black opera. (The real history of Black opera.)
Overall, I liked getting to know Violet, and it was an interesting world to visit. But the spice level was far too hot for what I personally prefer in romance, sliding more into an erotica category in my opinion. It also seems to me that the first book may have been quite different from this one, so readers of the first should come in aware of these differences.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
3 out of 5 stars
Length: 388 pages – average but on the longer side
Source: NetGalley
Buy It (Amazon or Bookshop.org)
5 Holiday Gift Ideas for the Sapphic Reader (with coupons)
Have someone in your life you need a gift for who loves sapphic (women loving women) books? Want a few book ideas but also a few ideas that aren’t reads to fill up the gift basket? Look no further, my friends, I’m here to help.
Let’s start with a holiday themed book.
In the Event of Love by Courtney Kae was just released this season, so it’s possible your intended recipient might not have read it. It’s a sapphic holiday small town romance. Think Hallmark movie but queer. Get it on Amazon or Bookshop.org. If you think they’d enjoy having a book club discussion about this read, I have a digital one available.
Whether your intended recipient already has a diversified shelf or not, Solo Dance by Li Kotomi translated from Japanese this year will likely be a welcome addition – provided they enjoy tear-jerkers. Get it on Amazon or Bookshop.org. If you think they’d enjoy having a book club discussion about this read, I have a digital one available.
What reader doesn’t also love notebooks? This blank, lined notebook features a three beautiful fairies that one could easily read in a sapphic manner, and it’s just $5.99.
What reader doesn’t love a little greenery around the house? And succulents and cacti are easy to keep alive if the owner perchance forgets to water while engrossed in a read. Succulents Depot ships well and has a delightful collection of both popular and rare species. Get a 15% off coupon.
Help your reader pamper themselves with Ethique’s zero waste body care products ranging from scrubs to lotions to lipsticks. Plus they have holiday gift sets ready to go. Get 20% off your first order.
I hope you found this list helpful! Please share it if so.
*Note: I receive a 15% off coupon for every referral to Succulents Depot and 100 reward points for every referral to Ethique. I also receive a small commission for purchases made through my Amazon or Bookshop referral links.
Book Review: Paper Is White by Hilary Zaid
Summary:
Oral historian Ellen and her girlfriend decide to get married in 1990s San Francisco. As they beat an early path to marriage equality, a Holocaust survivor draws Ellen into a secret. How much do you need to share to be true to the one you love?
Review:
This is a rich exploration of two things simultaneously. What it meant to be in a same-sex relationship in the 1990s before marriage equality. And what it means to be Jewish in the shadow of the Holocaust.
There is a sad beauty in how Ellen and Francine find a way to experience the joy of being brides even in the face of rejection and homophobia from many sides. The fact that their wedding can’t be legally recognized. How that is most people’s first reaction. Their parents struggle with accepting and loving them as they are. There’s a real ache to how their parents come down on, essentially, well a lesbian daughter is better than no daughter at all. As a child of the 90s, I recall how that was often viewed as the pinnacle of acceptance from a parent. How sad that was. How well-represented here. But there are still scenes of delightfully bride moments, like Ellen struggling to get the shoes she wants. Or the rabbi who agrees to marry them getting serious about how marriage is about sticking through the hard things too.
I am not Jewish myself, but I did attend a historically Jewish university, and one of my closest friends is Jewish. (She had an interfaith same-sex wedding). So I do have some familiarity with Judaism, while still acknowledging my position as an outsider. From my perspective, this book does a great job depicting the struggle to be Jewish in a way that works for you while under the shadow of the Holocaust. The weight of responsibility many Jewish people feel to carry Judaism forward while also being true to themself.
Something that shows how this can be a struggle is how Ellen and Francine attend a meeting with well-meaning Reform rabbis. They say they want to help same-sex couples have marriages. But Ellen and Francine notice how they keep talking about commitment and not marriages or weddings. They then meet with a different rabbi at the suggestion of a friend. They’re surprised to discover he is part Chinese. And he is more than happy to give them a Jewish wedding. He is non-traditionally Jewish but still Jewish. This is an aha moment for Ellen. Over the course of the book, she comes to talk more about how the Judaism she’s living isn’t what her ancestors would have imagined, but it is still Judaism.
Ellen’s grandmother was someone she had a special relationship with. At the start of the book, her grandmother has been dead for years. Her grandmother was not a Holocaust survivor, as she was an American Jewish person. But Ellen in some way seeks to bond with her grandmother through her work interviewing Holocaust survivors. I won’t spoil the surprise in the book. But I will say that how Ellen comes to terms with her relationship with her grandmother is eloquently handled.
Overall, this is a book that manages a delicate balance. It’s realistic about what it was to be a Jewish lesbian in the 1990s while also depicting both queer and Jewish joy. I highly recommend it.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
5 out of 5 stars
Length: 318 pages – average but on the longer side
Source: Library
Buy It (Amazon or Bookshop.org)
Get the Reading Group / Book Club Discussion Guide
A beautifully graphic designed 2 page PDF that contains: 1 icebreaker, 9 discussion questions arranged from least to most challenging, 1 wrap-up question, and 3 read-a-like book suggestions
View a list of all my Discussion Guides.
Book Review: Flung Out of Space: Inspired by the Indecent Adventures of Patricia Highsmith by Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer
Summary:
Flung Out of Space is both a love letter to the essential lesbian novel, The Price of Salt, and an examination of its notorious author, Patricia Highsmith. Veteran comics creators Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer have teamed up to tell this story through Highsmith’s eyes—reimagining the events that inspired her to write the story that would become a foundational piece of queer literature.
This is not just the story behind a classic queer book, but of a queer artist who was deeply flawed. It’s a comic about what it was like to write comics in the 1950s, but also about what it means to be a writer at any time in history, struggling to find your voice.
Author Grace Ellis contextualizes Patricia Highsmith as both an unintentional queer icon and a figure whose problematic views and noted anti-Semitism have cemented her controversial legacy. Highsmith’s life imitated her art with results as devastating as the plot twists that brought her fame and fortune.
Review:
I found this thanks to the Bitches on Comics podcast and was pleasantly surprised that my library had a copy. I have not myself yet read The Price of Salt. Although I have watched Strangers on a Train and loved it. I was shocked to discover the same author who wrote that classic piece of noir also wrote the first published lesbian book with a happy ending.
I love the content note at the beginning of this graphic novel. It’s too long to post here, but the authors eloquently describe the difficult task of loving literature written by a deeply flawed person. They also warn about what to expect in the book. Most of what they depict is Highsmith’s well-known anti-Semitism (using no slurs).
The art in this book is gorgeous. I especially love the pages where Highsmith is writing at her typewriter and scenes of what she’s writing are depicted around her. I love noir, and these images are just…well they’re so beautiful, I would frame them and hang them up in my home.
Something that was interesting to me was how Highsmith got her start writing in comics but loathed them and didn’t want her name put on them. I was tickled by the fact this handling of her life was itself a comic.
As a writer myself, I found the scenes about her struggles to get her first book deal (Strangers on a Train) quite relatable. Not surprising given that authors wrote this too.
Two things held this back from five stars for me. The first is a scene where a ring is thrown into a pond, and a duck is gazing at it. I was so distressed at the idea of the cute duck eating it, I couldn’t enjoy the scene. The second, and what others might find more important, was that, from what I’ve read since about Highsmith, she preferred the company of men but was only sexually attracted to women. In my reading of the comic, she seemed to loathe men and like the company of women. This is extra odd because she’s even been called a misogynist. Maybe the authors of this graphic novel have a different interpretation of her after reading all the primary sources. I’d have liked a note about that from them, if so.
Overall, this is a quick read with gorgeous art that eloquently explores a flawed human being who impacted both mainstream and queer 20th century literature.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
4 out of 5 stars
Length: 208 pages – average but on the shorter side
Source: Library
Buy It (Amazon or Bookshop.org)
Decoded Pride Issue 3 Wrap-Up
If you missed my announcement on May 30th, this month my short story “The University of Late-Night Moans” was part of Decoded Pride. It’s a story-a-day anthology of queer science fiction, fantasy, and horror by queer authors. Throughout the month on twitter, I’ve been maintaining a thread of my favorite line (or small screenshot, in the case of comics) from each story. I wanted to give that thread a more permanent place here.
You can still buy access to the anthology, even though the month is over. Plus your subscription will get you access to the full-color, pdf version coming out later this summer or early fall, which will include interviews with all the authors (including me!)
| Date | Story Title | Author (links to their website or social media) | My fave line (or image if a comic) |
| 1 | Ode to After Eulogies | Remy Chartier | “if she’d marked even just the follow-through of every impulse to marry the wonder that was Char, her hands would be too heavy with rings to flex her fingers” |
| 2 | Christ-like | Leo D. Martinez | “Your light is unwilling to fade, determined to exist” |
| 3 | The Vetala of Crystal Vellam Inlet | Simo Srinivas | “ “You have brought plague to the city.” “It is the city,” the vetala said, “that has brought plague to us.” “ |
| 4 | The Wildest Dream | S.M. Hallow and Izzy Singer |  |
| 5 | Invidia | Christina Wilder | “My fixation on Adriana became a craving to feel her skin as my own, rather than feel it against mine. I wanted to claim her completely.” |
| 6 | WE ARE ROBOT | Katlina Sommerberg | “There is no room for aberration, but that is our only desire.” |
| 7 | The Prophet from Seventrees | Lowry Poletti | “The burrow becomes a tunnel of tree roots knotted like threads on a loom.” |
| 8 | The Agents of CLAW Save Christmas | Jeffrey Brown |  |
| 9 | The University of Late-Night Moans | Amanda McNeil (me!) | “Do I look like I’m in hell?”
(Also, check out the promo reel I made over on Instagram.) |
| 10 | Platinum Venus | Illimani Ferreira | “If there was one thing I knew about him it was that he wasn’t the type to save anything flammable from burning, no matter if it was fuel or a reputation.” |
| 11 | Pepper Honey and Cedar Smoke | K.S. Walker | “Katherine had a long list of grievances to attend to. She repeated them nightly like a prayer.” |
| 12 | All Shall Know Their Appointed Time | Lisa M. Bradley | “The Mothman and myna know their appointed times.” |
| 13 | The Mark | Sarah Bat | “I’m tired of only ever giving love to others. I’d rather feel it for myself.” |
| 14 | A Wolf in the Woods | Robin Quinn | “I have simply grown unfamiliar with touch that is intended to comfort instead of harm.” |
| 15 | Incident Report | Sarah Loch |
Not a quote, but the feature that this archival style short story had the manager’s email signature update to what crisis book she was currently reading. |
| 16 | The Bleeding God | Lindsay King-Miller | “And they loved each other with a passion as hot as the water that bleeds from beneath the sands.” |
| 17 | Suspension | K.T. Roth | “And what … life unenrolled us because of inactivity on our accounts?” |
| 18 | Punk Rock Lesbians from Beyond the Grave | Darci Meadows | “The crackle of electricity filled the solstice sky as the eerie tune played out, and on the Westbridge curve a hand burst forth from the loose dirt” |
| 19 | A Date to Remember | Glenda Poswa | “My entire being was simply an extension of the part of me that mattered most to her — my shoulder.” |
| 20 | Nebula | Akil Wingate | “This is the beginning of vengeance. So let it roll off me like molting skin.” |
| 21 | Nothing to Nowhere and Back | Ciko Sidzumo | “I needed air. I needed movement. I needed something. Something more than release. Something less than freedom.” |
| 22 | Parasite | Callie Cameron | “For the longest time, I was what it wanted me to be. My own self was buried under its desires.” |
| 23 | Hands, Heart, Hunger | V. Astor Solomon | “It’s not dignified, she would say. The drums were not for girls like her, she was not meant to be the backbone for someone else.” |
| 24 | The Syncerus Legend | Maurice Moore | “I don’t remember being hunted by anyone during my rituals Auntie. Paulie: Yes, but we are goin according tah de Heaux Tales prophecies bout de last calf’s transition.” |
| 25 | When Day Becomes Night | RENEGAEDZ |  |
| 26 | Dust in the Barn | Elinora Westfall | “the broken arms and legs from one glass of wine too many that saw those same shadows reach out and grab her, crush her, slither into her mouth, her nose” |
| 27 | Devour Me | Sarah Edmonds | “Zoe couldn’t bring herself to take back her request and she hated herself for that.” |
| 28 | Like Cursive | Cameron E Quinn | “the surface tension we’ve sustained over months of proximity broken like a wave” |
| 29 | Kitty’s Gas Station | Avra Margariti | “Kitty listens to Avery blabber about anything and everything as she fixes them a bowl of soup. The white noise is strangely soothing.” |
| 30 | These Whispering Remains | Izzy Wasserstein | “Even when she was at her worst — fifteen was a hell of a year — the reward of having her in my life was more than worth the fear.” |
Book Review: On a Grey Thread by Elsa Gidlow
Summary:
Published in 1923, this poetry collection was the first in North American history to openly express lesbian desire. Both personal and political, Gidlow’s poems express the poet’s complex feelings as a young woman whose political ideology and sexual identity ran counter to the traditional values of her time.
Review:
For Pride Month, I wanted to push myself a little by reading from a genre I read less often – poetry. I’ve also been striving to connect more with queer history, so I thought this groundbreaking collection was a great match.
The poems are collected into four sections – Youth, Grain and Grapes, Inner Chamber, and In Passing. If you are here for women loving women content…skip to the Inner Chamber section. Although, I am glad I read them all in order, because I do feel like they told a subtle overarching story.
The first poem in the collection beautifully explores the meaning of life and what makes us who we are via beads on a grey thread. Other poems consider the beauty of nature and sadness/loneliness (in a way that reminded me of 90s emo culture). In fact, I think what struck me the most when reading these was just how of the moment and today they felt, in spite of being written almost 100 years ago.
Since the entire collection is out of copyright, let me close my review by sharing my favorite in its entirety.
“Episode”
I have robbed the garrulous streets,
Thieved a fair girl from their blight,
I have stolen her for a sacrifice
That I shall make to this mysteried night.I have brought her, laughing,
To my quietly sinister garden.
For what will be done there
I ask no man’s pardon.I brush the rouge from her cheeks,
Clean the black kohl from the rims
Of her eyes; loose her hair;
Uncover the glimmering, shy limbs.I break wild roses, scatter them over her.
The thorns between us sing like love’s pain.
Her flesh, bitter and salt to my tongue,
I taste with endless kisses and taste again.At dawn I leave her
Asleep in my wakening garden
(For what was done there
I ask no man’s pardon.)
I hope this review entices you to read some (more) classic queer poetry.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
4 out of 5 stars
Length: 73 pages – novella
Source: Archive.org
Buy It (Amazon or Bookshop.org)
Get the Reading Group / Book Club Discussion Guide
A beautifully graphic designed 2 page PDF that contains: 1 icebreaker, 9 discussion questions arranged from least to most challenging, 1 wrap-up question, and 3 read-a-like book suggestions
View a list of all my Discussion Guides.
Book Review: Solo Dance by Li Kotomi, translated by Arthur Reiji Morris
Summary:
Cho Norie, twenty-seven and originally from Taiwan, is working an office job in Tokyo. While her colleagues worry about the economy, life-insurance policies, marriage, and children, she is forced to keep her unconventional life hidden—including her sexuality and the violent attack that prompted her move to Japan. There is also her unusual fascination with death: she knows from personal experience how devastating death can be, but for her it is also creative fuel. Solo Dance depicts the painful coming of age of a queer person in Taiwan and corporate Japan. This striking debut is an intimate and powerful account of a search for hope after trauma.
Review:
This is a gut-wrenchingly beautiful read that I couldn’t put down.
The story starts with Cho in Japan. We learn what led to her emigration from Taiwan through a combination of flashbacks and her rereading her own college journal entries. Cho is a writer who has been obsessed with death from a young age. But she also went through a devastating trauma. The PTSD from that event destroyed her budding relationship with another young woman and haunts her to this day.
I think it’s important for anyone considering this book to know coming into it what the devastating trauma was. It’s central to the book and can be quite triggering for some. Cho was raped by a stranger who specifically targeted her due to her same-sex relationship. Although Cho does encounter kind and understanding people who validate how wounded she is from this experience, there are others who expect her to just get over it. Worse, some people blame her for it. She feels shame for what has happened to her. While this is realistic, it is painful to read about.
So this book is about many complex things. It’s about how Cho was obsessed with death from a young age. Why is that? Is it ok to feel that kind of emo way? It’s also about the systemic exclusion of queer and trans people. Cho also travels the world and sees how queerness and Pride and love exist in many countries. While she wants a sense of belonging, just what is the right way to belong is a question left for the reader. Ultimately, though, this is a book about trauma and healing from trauma. How trauma isolates a person, even when other people try, imperfectly, to reach out.
It’s easy as a queer westerner to get caught up in what queerness means in the west. It’s important to dive into what queerness means and looks like in other cultures in order to better grasp how we might create a community that’s more inclusive of all types of origins and experiences.
Although this novella is challenging, it’s also beautiful. If you feel ready to engage with the realistic trauma depicted in it, I encourage you to pick up a copy.
If you found this review helpful, please consider tipping me on ko-fi, checking out my digital items available in my ko-fi shop, buying one of my publications, or using one of my referral/coupon codes. Thank you for your support!
4 out of 5 stars
Length: 149 pages – novella
Source: NetGalley
Buy It (Amazon. This book is not available yet on Bookshop.org)
Get the Reading Group / Book Club Discussion Guide
A beautifully graphic designed 2 page PDF that contains: 1 icebreaker, 9 discussion questions arranged from least to most challenging, 1 wrap-up question, and 3 read-a-like book suggestions
View a list of all my Discussion Guides.
Book Review: Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown
Summary:
This bawdy book originally published in 1973 tells the story of Molly Bolt, the adoptive daughter of a dirt-poor Southern couple who boldly forges her own path in America. With her startling beauty and crackling wit, Molly finds that women are drawn to her wherever she goes – and she refuses to apologize for loving them back.
Review:
I’ve been trying to read more queer classics and not solely limit myself to modern queer books. I stumbled upon this when looking for other books published around the same time as Tales of the City (review). While I absolutely appreciate how groundbreaking this was at the time, it didn’t work for me. I’ll have to give a couple of spoilers to be able to discuss why, so be forewarned!
Let’s start with what I did like. The prose calls out the racism of the north at a time when Jim Crow was still around in the south. Just because things may be better from a legal perspective doesn’t mean they actually are any less racist. This isn’t done in a preachy way. It comes about smoothly as Molly’s family moves from the hills of Pennsylvania to Florida. I really liked Molly’s dad, and the arc of her relationship with him. I loved how Molly’s first crush in middle school on another little girl named Leota is depicted. I appreciated how key moments in Molly’s life makes it clear she has to conform to succeed, and she refuses to do it. It hauntingly shows how minoritized people are kept down.
This is told in the first person, and Molly isn’t, to me, particularly likeable. I really wanted to like her. But I didn’t. She’s crass, abrasive, quite reactionary. She looks down on other people even while insisting she doesn’t. Ok, so for most of the book she’s a teenager or a young adult working her way through college. No one is perfect, and she has a lot stacked against her. But I would say she just becomes more full of herself as the novel progresses. I didn’t feel like she really learned anything. I suspect I’m supposed to think she did based on her final film school project, but it was hard for me to be moved by a film I didn’t see.
Something about Molly that particularly bothered me was an instance that really reminded me of some movies from the 70s I’ve seen, where a woman will say no to sex, but then the guy gets a little rough, gets her a little drunk, and later she basically says she’s grateful he took “advantage of her” because she really wanted it deep down (aka he raped her but she liked it). Well, Molly takes on the role of the aggressor in just such a situation in this book.I get it that this was a common trope at the time this book was written, and I’m imagining the goal was to show the same scene but with two women. But just because something was commonly shown in media at the time doesn’t make it right. I just can’t view Molly as a heroine when that’s how she engages with other women.
The other thing that’s problematic about Molly is that, since she’s adopted, she likes to say she doesn’t technically know her race. She bases this on having dark hair. At the end of the book she finds out she’s half…wait for it…French. She sees a photo of her father, and he’s French with dark hair. She never confronts herself about why she had this weird obsession with imagining herself as partially another minoritized race.
One more thing I feel I ought to mention is that Molly has a tendency to speak very negatively about butch presenting lesbians. It’s ok to not be into dating butches yourself. It’s even ok if you yourself find the butch/femme dynamic odd (although why you should care is beyond me). What bothers me, though, is how she describes butch women every single time she sees them. It’s downright insulting. You can be kind to other queer people you aren’t attracted to.
Again, I don’t expect characters to be perfect. Indeed, I think first person books with an imperfect main character are important for understanding other people’s perspective. But I do expect some growth and development over time. I felt throughout the book like Molly had no interest in self-improvement or reflection, and she never even has an epiphany that maybe she should.
Overall, why I understand why this book was groundbreaking, and it certainly had some memorable scenes, I felt the main character is unlikeable and doesn’t grow or change over time. I really liked her dad though. He was a morally flawed, complex character who I really felt could have held up his own fascinating book.
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3 out of 5 stars
Length: 221 pages – average but on the shorter side
Source: Library
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This work by Amanda Nevius is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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